While patrolling the west end of the 17th District , I was driving over the Edens Expressway on the Wilson Avenue bridge. Traffic was slowing, and people were rubber-necking to catch a glimpse of the accident below on the expressway. The car in front of me came to an abrupt halt, blocked traffic, and stared at the scene below. I allowed him to absorb the activity and, after a liberal amount of time, I beeped my horn. The honk was met with the one fingered salute. I initially thought my blue and white squad car was invisible, but then I realized I had just found the stupidest person in the city.

I flipped the switch and activated the blue lights. I tapped the siren for a couple of quick bursts and was now making a traffic stop on my one fingered friend. While standing at his car door, I realized just how incredibly stupid this fellow really was. Laying on the passenger seat were a couple of clear plastic baggies. As I removed him from the car, I could see the “I fucked up” expression on his face. After he was secure, I retrieved a bag of grass and another baggy of powered cocaine. After yelling at this young man for a minute or two, I realized I did not have to do anything further. He was grimacing in agony at the mere thought of losing his newly acquired , but not paid for, drugs.

I walked him to the nearest sewer and ordered him to empty the baggies into the manhole. He pleaded and was nearly crying when he explained he was sorry about the one finger salute. A point was made after he disposed of his goods and was allowed to leave the scene with a only warning. He was now about two hundred dollars in debt for drugs that were making their way through the sewer system of Chicago. I felt satisfied that in the future he would look before antagonizing his fellow motorists.

 

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